Remembering Love

This past weekend I was lucky enough to attend the beautiful wedding of Rachel Kovach and Matt Firebaugh.  This wedding wasn’t just beautiful because the dresses on the bridesmaids were lovely, or that the flowers with their creamy white purity were astounding, but it was the love that flowed between these two young people that took your breath away.

I have always known, or at least felt, the beauty of the love that abounded in the Kovach household and how it spilled out on every one that they came in contact with for a long time.  Rachel was raised to be aware of the feelings and concerns of others around her and she has demonstated this quality her whole life.  I know that my children have felt the love and friendship that spills out of Rachel and they will love her throughout their lives. 

The excitement was building as everyone waited for the bride to appear.  Matt looked like any nervous young groom as he stood waiting for Rachel to appear in the doorway.  Then the moment arrived and you could almost see the glow surrounding Rachel. And then this marvelous young man whom Rachel had fallen in love with just couldn’t hold in the love anymore and it poured out of him as tears of joy and wonder flowed freely from him.  In that moment, I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house and we all knew that this was a man of great emotion and certainly worthy of “our” Rachel. 

Throughout the ceremony and the rest of the evening, these two young people were gracious host and hostess, but they really didn’t need anyone else to be in the room at all.  They never left each other’s side.  They were completely conscious of the needs of the other, at all times.  Even on the dance floor there was an imaginary bubble that surrounded the two of them and kept them in their own privately shared piece of heaven.

As Rachel’s father, Steve, gave his traditional toast,  it was easy to see how hard it was for him to give up his little girl.  But the most beautiful part of the toast was Steve’s compliment to his partner and wife, Christine, and a thank you for the her love  that she had shared so completely with him over their many years together.

I left that evening with a euphoric feeling that if a love such as this could exist, then all was really right with the world.  Even now writing this tribute to this amazing young couple and Rachel’s parents as well, I am thankful for the gift of knowing them and experiencing a little piece of their love in my life.

Thank you Kovachs and I know the world will benefit greatly as this Kovach/Firebaugh team sets out to spread their amazing love.

An amazing weekend

People all over the world spend thousands of dollars on life seminars, motivational seminars, and various other life changing retreats.  Some come away ready to change old habits and with a renewed zest for life.  Others pick up one little statement that changes their whole way of thinking for years to come.  Others stay within the walls they have built to keep them safe and learn nothing at all.

I didn’t spend thousands of  dollars on a seminar or retreat; I just spent a weekend at my Aunt’s memorial surrounded by my extended family of cousins.  As the various versions of the stories we had all heard over the years about this side of our family began to unfold, so did some of the walls of the people in attendance.  The exchanges were filled with emotion.  Raw energy abounded.  Some old wounds were opened; others healed.  Some needed to feel that their version was the only right one, while others were just happy to hear various versions of old family stories.  Some wanted to be the center of all that was happening, while others either spent time on the perimeter or ran away from all the exchanges completely.

Everyone gave what they could and took what they could from a time of great emotion.  I’m sure that all the emotions of the weekend will settle differently in each and every person as they head back into their everyday lives.  The greatest beauty of all that happened this weekend was that all of the cousins in attendance got to know each other better.  New connections were made.  Older generations got to know the younger generations.  The legacy of my aunt lives on in each and everyone connected to her. Personally,  I just feel blessed to have had the opportunity to talk, visit and spend time with all these amazing individuals. 

The children of  my favorite aunt did an incredible  job of presenting a wonderful review of the life of an  amazing  woman.  They showed her many looks over the years.  They presented a great view into the life of a woman who survived so many hardships but never lost her zest for life.  They reminded us of a woman who loved with every ounce of her body, and filled a room with incredible energy.  They let us take all the love we all carried inside for this wonderful women and let it spill out all over each other in tears, hugs, emotional outbursts, and sometimes in just a quiet connection.

I hope the new connections made will continue to grow. I hope we will all take time to stop and reflect on the fact that we are an eclectic collection of human energy and we all have the ability to love and enhance the lives of those around us.

Look out boys, Marge is back in town

Today, those of us still in our “earth suits” lost a wonderful presence.  Marge Maloney, mother of four, “Memo to many, the iconic Aunt to a whole group of young Haakinson women, and friend to anyone who knew their sports and could play a good game of cards.  She will be so missed.

Ever since I could remember, I (along with my cousin Tracy) have been told, “Oh you’re just like your Aunt Marge. ”  I didn’t think this was too bad.  She was fiesty, sharp as a tack, accepting of people’s differences and the life of the party.  If that was the life I was suppose to lead, then I had a pretty good role model.

Aunt Marge outlived all five of her younger brothers, a husband, and a son.  Today is my father’s birthday and I just have an idea that she heard there was a party going on,  and she wasn’t going to miss out.  So she left that old tired “earth suit” and headed up to heaven, (we’re assuming that they all ended up there),  to add a little spice to the festivities.  So boys, you had better stand up straight and wash behind your ears, because your big sister is back in town.

March madness is just around the corner and Aunt Marge now has the best seat in the house.  If her wildcats can’t make it, (they haven’t been the same since Lute left), maybe Tracy’s Jayhawks or my Zags can give her some thrills.  I just know that she’ll be laughing at me whenever the TV networks won’t show the game I want to watch.

Everyone will have a different reason to miss this wonderful lady.  For my children, she was always able to remind them of their Grandpa through her speech and actions.  For me, she was always the midwest link to remembering my Haakinson roots. And for many others it will be her wit, her confidence, and her ability to share her love.

So for now, I will toast you, Aunt Marge, with a Bloody Mary, and a dab of Shalimar behind both ears.

Walk with me today

Today it was suggested to me that I pick an icon, someone I admire, and invite them into my mind for the day; walk with them.  There are many famous people that instantly come to mind, but two of the most lasting icons that I draw strength from are my two college roommates.  I have always been blessed by the incredible array of mentors that have been made available to me in my life, but to get to live with two of them at a time of huge personal growth, such as college, is maybe one of the greatest gifts of my life. 

 Cammy, my first roommate, taught me loyalty as I watched her write a letter to her Mother every day of our college life.  She taught me excellence as she strived to get the most out of every class; not just for the grade, but for how she would use this information later.  She taught me that energy is limitless; at least I never saw Cammy without a fresh supply.  I never heard Cammy say a bad word about anybody.  She was always more concerned with her own role in the world and making the best of it.  After college, as our lives took different turns we just kept in contact through Christmas pictures, but the beuaty of Cammy would always be a part of who I am today.  I know that anyone who knows Cammy today will tell you they have never met someone of her integrity, strength, and conviction of values.  When I see the Christmas picutre filled with her many children and grandchildren I think how lucky they are to have her in their lives.

After Cammy’s marriage, I was lucky to learn a few life lessons from my second college roommate, Emily.  We had a rocky start, when she teased me about my “green hair” (a little chlorine problem), but our friendship has continued to grow and grow over the years.  I don’t know if I have ever known someone who lives a truer life than Emily.  In her world, a spade is a spade; and don’t just stand there, do something with it.  My first question when I am faced with a tough life question is, “What would Emily do?”  I seriously ask myself this question all the time., because I know that I won’t be very far off the mark if I try to make a decision based on the anwer to this question.  Do you know very many people who, when seeing a couple of elderly ladies standing at a busstop in the rain, would turn their car around and pick them up, take them on their errand and then drive them home?  Who do you know that would take over the mowing of the school yard when that was cut from the budget?  Who do you know that shows up at your parents door the day of your Dad’s funeral, makes you drive around in her sports car with the top down (in December) and finally gets you to quit crying because you are laughing too hard.  There is not one doubt in my mind that if I need Emily, she will be there before I can hang up the phone.  She’ll probably be there even if I haven’t called.  She is a gift to all that know her. 

I am so lucky to have known these two remarkable women and to know them as my friends.  I will walk with them today, as I do ever day, knowing that my life is richer because I have been touched by who they are.

Energy

Energy is really an amazing universal property.  It seems alot like love.  The more you use it, the more it expands rather than diminishing.  It just may be the world’s best renewable resource.  How many resources do we encounter that seem to grow with use?  I have always said that the reason children have so much energy is that they never think about what happened yesterday, nor do they waste time thinking about what must be done tomorrow.  They are really reactionaries; “in the moment” people.  Every self-help book I have ever read talks about the importance of staying in the moment.  But have I ever really achieved that?  For me, maybe it has occurred during a moment in sports or if I really become engrossed in a good book.  But the moments are fleeting.  So rather than trying to achieve that elusive “in the moment” feeling, maybe I should just try to keep expending energy as much as possible because I seem to become so energized as I send energy out into the world.  Just reaching out to  people.  Sending out my smile.  Tying a child’s shoelace.  Playing peek-a-boo with a child in the next car.  Complimenting someone on their outfit.  Thanking someone who has helped me.  Anything to send a wave of energy into the world.  I’ll never know how much joy my little piece of energy might give, or how far it may travel.  But one thing for sure,   I love the feeling of that energy rebounding back into me.  Amazing!!!

Another New Year

It hit me while I was eating a huge hunk of cookie dough while watching the Joy Fit Club  segment on the Today show that I probably wasn’t ready to sit down and write my diet and fitness goals for the New Year.  I mean, the pressure is there.  Only a small segment of my closet still feels comfortable, and I seem to be wearing the same comfortable outfit over and over.  I can’t turn on the TV without someone giving advice on diet and exercise.  I thought I was ready the other day when I had that strong urge to make a change. . . get up and exercise.  But I had just eaten a steak and tossed salad,(it’s funny how dieting doesn’t seem so tough on a full stomach), so I decided that it might not be a good idea to exercise so soon after eating.  Oh well, it’s only the 30th, I’ve got lots of time to get my strength up and get ready for the tough times ahead.  I heard that you should get rid of the temptations around the house, so I’ve gotta go.  I’ve got a lot of cookie dough to eat before New Years.

A new year and a new step

It is always said that, “when in doubt, take a small step”, so I am taking a small step by establishing my own blog.   I’m not really sure if I have anything of value to share, but I do know that I have alot of ideas in my head that I need to express.  I hope that from time to time you will check out my blog and see if anything that I share can help to make your world a little brighter and your thoughts a little more open.  I hope that by sharing my ideas, I will be led to new and exciting thoughts; more ideas of things to try; places to explore; and ways to navigate a world that changes daily and holds many opportunities for all of us.  Here’s to a New Year where limitations fade away and opportunities abound!

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